Blue lights flash over red in the grease licked water rainbows making waves along the sidewalk. Somber faces bow slightly under crisp caps and hoodies. Heads shake slightly at the bodies sprawled out in chalk waiting for the gurney.

It was a terrible day for many and a triumph for fate. Two hearts beat towards each other in a collision predetermined. Only still with the reflection of a badge in the streetlight, the other splayed out with blood running down over his neck partially blotting out the 4 and the 8 on his “1488” tattoo making it look like 1108, the time resting on my watch as I looked once more in disbelief.

Fate brought these two together. Family tradition and culture being the wheels that turnt them in their respective directions. No one would guess at their insignificance, both were loved and supported in their endeavors by family and friends with strong convictions. Both for justice, heritage, and the belief that their lifestyle was under attack, and they would take a stand or take the fall.

Life has value and it’s beyond family, culture, or nationality. It’s humanity. How life unfolds is not our concern, that it does unfold is our duty as fellow humans. There are bad people who do good things and good people who do bad things. In the end we need people doing things to make the world complete. God new this and free will is our reminder.

It takes some humbling to believe this, and I’m still on this journey. I fiercely believe in protecting my loved ones, but I’m learning I can do that in many ways. I’m learning that we’re told not to judge because it creates hostility, rather than understanding. I’m learning that forgiveness is freedom. I’m learning this from within, because without it I’m just another hypocrite.


Jorge Louis Borges

Jorge Borges. “I have read many books about aesthetics and felt that I was reading books by astronomers who never looked at the stars”!

This guy! I was amazed by Borges from the moment I read a collection of his essays. It’s hard to focus or remember the content of his writing. His style and structures are flawless, in more than one language. It struck me as strange that he could write in English so perfectly and fluently not being a native English speaker, I believe he learnt from a grandmother.

Recently I listened to some of his lectures in America. He was older at this time, and had become blind. One lecture was almost an hour long in English. Now he’s visiting from his native country, Argentina. He can’t read a script or note cards and he consistently makes coherent points to support his objectives. He even throws humor in there with the ease of a comedian.

I admire Jorge Louis Borges for his dedication to words. His mastery of a number of languages, and his perseverance through troubled times. What he was made of was good. It was a discipline of the need to communicate past physical and psychological boundaries to demonstrate the value of communicating.

We need folks like Jose Louis Borges in the world today. The rigors of his work can’t be duplicated today. He worked by hand on paper and in libraries for decades and still found time to experience life. His passion however, can become contagious and inspire others to discipline theirselves to the dedication of words and speech. This is a noble gesture and the foundation of understanding.


The 70’s dude! A decade of confusion. A transition to dysfunction on a societal level that speaks to so much confusion today. The origin of the “me-llenial”! We just can’t seem to slow the train down long enough to see clearly, life is a blur.

I ain’t blaming women, You can’t really ever blame one group for a societies developmental dysfunctions, it takes a village. Woman however, changed the American family to a degree that no other facet of American life could. They went to work and had careers.

Woman in the 70’s responded to divorce rates, family structure, and economic autonomy by leaving the home and going to work. Prior to this time women as a whole stayed at home and maintained o home (which is not the same as a house) and raised children. Kindergarten was not yet a norm so children were at home until 6 years old learning in their homes and communities.

“Play dates” were an everyday thing. Cars with fathers pulled out of the driveway at 7am and the streets were filled with kids playing and Mothers talking. Naps were a necessity and at 4 or 5pm cars with fathers returned for dinner. This was the norm for most families.

I want to be clear that I’m not blaming woman. The economy was such that it became a necessity. Fathers either couldn’t make enough to maintain the middle class stature or just opted out and left for a loaf of bread never to return. Either way women had to step up and step out of the house for additional income.

There was no such thing as daycare, preschool, or head start. Most women relied on friends who used the babysitting money to supplement their own families income. A few daycares sprang up, but all you needed to be certified were a toy box, fire extinguisher, and a emergency services sticker next to your phone. This was not a great time for many children. In America.

These kids grew up to birth the “90 Babies” just around the technology boom. This generation of parents never were handed down the traditional parenting skills their parents experienced. Preschool, head start, and kindergarten became a norm and the main source of information for parenting.

These early childhood educators blurred the lines between children and students, even in some cases the authority over the child. Then the school starts to share the role of educator with raising children. So then we had parents educating their children while schools focused on their well being. Hell, everyone was confused.

So now we have the “me-llenials” and these babies are all confused. They can’t decipher whose role is what. The television and computer fill in the gaps with vulgarity and innuendo to the point sarcasm is viewed as a positive trait. Entertaining yourself through other folks pain is humorous, and drama within families is expected.

These babies are having babies and seem to be responding by wanting to do better than their parents or grandparents did. They track pregnancy from conception. They communicate at a level that’s painful for many older folks. They seem to see through the bullshit in a “this has been going on long enough” manner. On the front side of family life though, they are way out there.

These folks create genders, races, and cultures like apps on a smart phone. They experiment with all facets of life to an uncomfortable degree for many. This is what makes social media so entertaining and dangerous. Socially, politically, and culturally there are no safeguards to protect us from the degradation we see. Truth becomes subjective, reality is what you make it, and authority is viewed as a negative facet of life.

We can’t fix this overnight. This is gonna take a minute. There are many uncomfortable moments ahead. Now is the time for candor, not to be confused with being blunt. It’s a time for a leader, but they’re rare. It’s a time for honesty. Most importantly it’s a time for families to retreat to the dinner table and say “hold up”, we need to take a step back and evaluate what we’re doing. We need to reaffirm our roles as parents, children, and siblings. Before we go out that door again and step out into this dysfunction. We need to tighten up and reestablish and reaffirm what we stand for. No more co dependent relationships built on cultural fantasies.

It’s not over, but that rolls both ways. Americans are families. We are independent and proud. We are philanthropic at the lowest socio economic strata. We believe life is bigger than us. We need to start acting like that or the America that our grandparents rocked will be rolled right into a ditch.


Freedom isn’t a right, it’s a human condition

I indulge myself often on philosophy or religious and atheist sites. I don’t do this to troll, although I do speak my mind. My goal is not the banter though. My goal is to hear what folks are saying on both sides of this political existence many folks are living. It’s not encouraging either.

The most basic fundamental human condition is freedom. It’s not a right, because that would imply someone has control over freedom. The government does not give me the right to be free, I own it as a human being. This country was formed to protect that from real threats abroad. Now it has morphed into the belief by many that the government owns our rights, they don’t.

There are human courtesies that apply to fellow Americans where we give up some of our rights in times of trouble to defend the collective freedom of the group, but that’s resistance to tyranny. We respect boundaries, trade fairly, and don’t harm others for our personal benefit. Outside of this we have no obligation to government unless we seek to do business within its borders. Not everyone is a “worker”!

We don’t all follow along with participating in a disturbed dream that is littered with ill intention and unearned gains. We can live in America as Americans and not participate in that existence, and we can do this in a way we’re not “off the grid” or separatist. It’s our right as humans.

Entirely too many young folks today abridge the definition of freedom when it comes to government. They talk about their rights as if they’re granted by the government, they’re not. They talk about having conditions to our freedom, they’re are two, pay and charge fairly if you conduct business and don’t do anything to harm or cheat another person. If I do either of those two I’m liable to the government of the country regulating order. I am not in debt with my rights because I was born American.

Seat belt laws were the beginning of the legal system hustling our rights. It was a way to generate revenue and create an industry; strangely enough it was largely due to the efforts of a liberal, Ralph Nader.

I don’t like the laws. They’re intrusive and punish folks for their individual choices. However, I chose to get a drivers license in the state I reside and therefore it’s my obligation to follow the laws associated with having a license. I could have chosen not to get a license and payed for public transportations where there are no seat belts.

We need to educate young Americans on what it means to be an American. It doesn’t mean you turn over your rights as humans or the rights of being of parent to a government just because you live in a state within the US border. It doesn’t mean your freedom is conditional based on government ideals. You’re free as a human to do and have whatever you wish as long as it doesn’t involve hurting another person or their endeavors to be successful. Bottom line.

We need to protect this idea before the ignorance among us affirms to the government they have rights to our freedom. Our weapons are the latest hit. Before we even understood what was going on in this last shooting they came out of the woodwork like roaches calling for control over something they shouldn’t have any control over.

This latest tragedy occurred again in one of the most regulated states in the heart of the progressive movement. The “village” mentality that is so precious to the idiots failed this kid. He was left to the village and wondered what appears to be aimlessly after the death of two parents who adopted him and it seemed they couldn’t handle. The “village” ignored him along with law enforcement and the mental health system so he got their attention.

I’m not defending him by no means, he should die or go away forever, but facts are facts and they provide answers to the future. So to come out and cheer for gun control, of which you have no right, is deceitful and intentionally harming future kids. In fact, it’s your hands washed in their blood for not seeking real solutions to real problems. Instead you focus on taking the voting power of the gun owning Americans away to advance your dysfunction. Remember those that started screaming during the elections, they’re liars, and vote accordingly.


Guns, Drugs, and Burgers

You ever kneel down to a three year old and hold up three fingers and ask them how old they are. They light up and proudly hold their three fingers up and answer, “I’m three”!

Then you change the configuration of your three fingers and ask again and they respond, “No!” Holding up the original three fingers and repeat in a determined tone, “I’m this many!” This is our dilemma socially when it comes to society and culture.

The latest shooting in Florida is another in the tragedies involving guns. There are many folks out there who do not like guns and use these situations to further their delusions that guns are dangerous. They do this to the detriment of all of us.

I don’t want to focus on the family and community failing this kid and his victims. I want to focus on mental health. We do not understand mental health as a nation and refuse to listen to the folks that do understand it because the voice of ignorance is to damned loud. Guns don’t kill people, people kill people. Until we understand this basic premise we’ll continue to see incidents like this because there are a lot of sick and neglected young folks out there that we’ve marginalized.

You don’t have to stretch the imagination far to consider sexual abuse in the same light. Luckily mental health folks are very involved with this problem in America. They have to work real hard to be heard over law enforcement budget concerns and a sensationalized justice system.

For years we were told to watch for the guy in the trench coat hanging around the neighborhood. Now we’re told to watch the computer screen for predators lurking in the dark web. This allowed law enforcement to create a whole bureaucracy within the justice system. The incidence of these crimes haven’t subsided, like school shootings.

The reason these issues are still prevalent is because the whole time the real danger for most victims was in the family or family friendships. The majority of the perpetrators didn’t fly in from outta state to abuse a child, they were already in the house or neighborhood going to parties or get togethers forming relationships and trust. That’s not as sensational as the guy caught on camera meeting a 15 year old in a sting set up on TV.

We don’t even consider the psychology behind the horrific legacy because the headlines are sensational. The answer is identification of behaviors and treatment to prevent these tragedies.

Addiction to drugs is another “epidemic” in America. For over a century we have labored under the ignorance that “it takes an addict to treat an addict.” This is another mental health area that the folks who understand the condition have been drowned out. Mostly by entrepreneurs seeking to come further outta their own addiction.

These folks kept the narrative quasi spiritual with an experiential twist. “If you haven’t been there, you don’t understand!” Soon religion got involved and turned the “12 Steps” into some purpose driven stairway to heaven. These systems could do more harm than good. Mental health professionals understand addiction on a therapeutic level that have psychological principles as their foundations.

They understand the addiction is a symptom. They understand that an addict is an addict. Whether you’re a 40 year old upper middle class house wife popping Xanax and hydrocodone to make it through the day or a heroine addict drawing water from a mud puddle to heat your fix, you’re the same. They understand that the addiction, regardless of its form, is a response to the addicts experiences. Not the drug choice.

Another fiction we’ve endured is the “cop shooting” lie. I call it a lie because this one is purposely developed. The real issue was not race. It was about poverty and policing. We still never got to the bottom of the issue because we never identified the issue.

Turns out it didn’t matter what race you were, if you were living in the lower socio economic class you were more likely to end up in a violent confrontation. Poverty, not race was the variable we should have been looking at.

The other issue is law enforcement leadership. First problem is the “close ranks” mentality that had folks shaking their heads and confirming for many that police were above the law.

Second was the fact that folks were being shot in the head or shot with tens of rounds. Anyone who has been around weapons understands this is a training issue. You’re either not properly trained or trained to kill, that’s fact.

Leadership, the guys in the offices, seem only interested in careers and photo ops. They seem outta touch with the guys on the ground “driving” a beat. They weren’t interested in policing, they were driven by spreadsheets and promotions.

Lastly the dollars involved corrupted the system. The rules rewarding departments through seizures changed policing to bounty hunters. If you don’t make the big bust your representatives and leaders are asking questions because the jurisdiction next to you just had a 3 million dollar photo op and received a nice chunk of military surplus for their “X Force. Now you have bounty hunters that used to be police dressed as soldiers. The communities see this and react with their own ideas of who’s the bad guy and what does that really mean.

We could go on about McDonalds and obesity. Casinos and gambling, or alcohol and driving. It doesn’t matter the vice you chose. The food, drug, sexual partner, weapon you chose is you reacting to your environment. Your actions based on your mental condition. Focusing on the weapon, pill, or burger is not a solution. It’s a co dependent approach to curing social ills by folks who have no business in the socio political culture of leadership.

Mental health is the most important topic of our times. There are entire cultures suffering from cognitive dissonances as family values. There are political structures that are developed on co dependent strategies. There are folks out there who benefit financially and politically from these confusions. We need the mental health community to sound off. Take a stand and send the message that only psychologist, psychiatrist, therapist and counselors can help us identify the origins of our ills.

Media has become the bitch to the highest bidder. It’s ideologically bankrupt and only interested in sensationalizing American life. You wouldn’t call a carpenter for a broken leg. We need to take a stand against ignorance to save our sanity.

Billions of kids went to school yesterday and came home with bags of Valentine goodies. Hundreds of thousands of people came home from surgery and can’t wait to get off their pain meds. Billions of gun owners shot paper targets and cleaned their weapons and billions of family members and friends hugged a child without ill intentions. This is the time for thinking. Reacting got us here, the same place we’ve been stuck forever.


Birds of a feather

I wonder if the parrot, so high browed and elite, understands what the finch sees from lower heights. The larger effort required to build small nests hidden from an abundance of predatory natures largely goes unnoticed by their illustrious sounding brethren who sit high atop the canopy looking down, but seeing nothing.

With a splash of color they take to the wind with the sound of music and grace to show the beauty of nature while the dull gray existence of the finch continues his labors with flittering glances. Nervous, but industrious, and annoyed at the attention those colors bring to their station.

It’s meticulous and time consuming building these temporary futures. Year after year picking up the remnants of generations gone by and weaving those memories into this years hopes while the privileged beauty of nature sits high above the canopy unaware of the dangers the common bird flees, but oh one day!

Trees fall, as do characters. Chaos ensues and soon the beauty is a liability when the forest is bare, no heights to travel and the nets have no conscious. Soon fates tangle and colorful wings intertwined with perfectly formed squares hold time still and the tree tops are memories that break the spirit or forge the will.

In the market the finch flitters in its cage looking for a way out while the parrot sits still mocking “Hello’s” for a laugh and a meal. Not content, but accepted of his new position. Not quite a pet, but not a prisoner, willing to eat from the hand of his captor for his meager existence in his lower stature.

Oh, but the finch scoffs at such weakness and flits and screeches till it’s wings molt and his captor is tired of cleaning cages and noisy occupants. Evicted, he happily flits and flies through alleys and streets high above the caged beauty of his domesticated brother. One last glance and their eyes meet, sympathy meets jealousy, and off they go, one to glory and the other a prisoner of his own stature.

Eternally he sits atop a wooden perch inside tightly knit metal squares wondering of the beauty of freedom. While the brethren returns to the brush to start anew the time tested heritage of hard work and subtle songs as background noise to those that unknowingly sacrifice theirselves through vain efforts and gaudy displays of character.

Time does tell lies and truths, and space gives a false sense of security, but thought gives will wings.



Thoughts of you framed in the shadows of lattice separate my heart from mind. I wonder about in the stillness of a gentle breeze caressing my dreams towards you; towards us intertwined outside of this prison, where flesh is a memory.

There are layers in here that spiral downwards or upwards to freedom. I lay here as a vessel of dreams only to awaken to memories of you wrapped in the hope that Love is all I remember, not what I fear. All these places I travel motionless, they’re sweet lies.

When is a hopeful expression. I hold you in my thoughts as my soul screams for the touch of just a finger tip on my lips to quiet my mind. A life of pictures, words, and dreams meld into the reality that I can have you in my arms once again, but the nightmare begins when I awaken.