Autonomy

I think of the hope I take for granted. Like eating a bowl of soup never realizing the spoon. We’re selfish creatures absorbed with gratification on some level. Transcendence seems a peaceful view.

I’ve lived today ignoring tomorrow; but what if it wasn’t there? If I woke up suspended above now forever longing to go outside myself. If me was another person I could only observe and breath was all I could feel.

I took a breath and felt each moment like pieces of a second. Is there enough time to live in this manner, or would a day be eternity. Maybe this is what is meant by “life must go on”. Maybe part of life is meant to be autonomous.

I walked to through the yard never thinking of my feet. My legs propelled my dreams of what could be next, but I never knew, I just ran. I would have tripped had I thought about all I was taking for granted, or even worse, stopped running altogether.

I speak at times my brain ignores my mind. A thought and an idea are really part of something larger than life. This idea makes words as useless as an echo. Thinking about my thoughts creates confusion, like a dog chasing its tail I’d go around. So I stop and start over.

I’m alive and don’t know it most of my life. Is this the starting point of a day. Opening my eyes to the fact I’ve been given another chance. Then taking a breath long and slow to make sure. Then I could think about how fortunate I am and stretch my body to acknowledgement that together we can go further. Then I could start my day.

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