Monthly Archives: November 2015

Twisted Masses

They reach down our throat while blindfolding our thoughts. The ruse is up for those that can see in the dark. We can hear with our minds and pacify our hearts for the good of the free.

One nation under siege divisible from within. Our flag waves gray and white in a foul wind of change that threatens our National sanity. Silently our leaders gaze like mannequins naked behind glass mirrors. All we have left to look up to are clouds of ignorance.

Our cops and robbers are on the same side. Both parading across the airways like some schoolyard bullies who finally got their ass kicked. Raise up bitches; when you donned that badge and pulled you pants down around your ass you know you were taking chances. Then you expect us to sit around outraged while you exaggerate who shot the most targets. Man up!!!

We keep our enemies close and our friends afar now. It’s probably politically incorrect to call a spade a spade nowadays. These middle eastern religious idiots been pounding sand up the worlds ass for tears and sympathy since America began experimenting with our conscience. Your religion, society, and cultures are stuck in the rock ages you been squatting behind. Your lucky though, 80 years ago we had no problem with calling a spade a spade, and you’d spend the next 100 years digging out of our wrath.

Our social sciences mock science with votes. The onset of these corporate universities are flooding our kids conscience with some quasi hippie beliefs supported by emotion over facts. Everyone’s afraid to speak the truth now for fear of being phobic. Well I’m not sacrificing my intellect for your spine. We deny our knowledge and biology to the point we’ve legislated dysfunction under the guise of humanity. Normal no longer rests in the center of a curve, it hides in dark corners whispering truths to fearful scholars hiding from investors.

Our poor have become the turnips squeezed to the point they’re shells of dust. The elite establishment features our poor, ill, and young as the staple of their offering plates. They have a voice that’s swallowed by mouthpieces and spit out through benefits that keep them eating Happy Meals and block cheese.

Patients have become an entrepreneur’s dream. The middleman in the drug game is the Good Neighbor in a white smock. He is working with the anyone sporting initials to either keep you swallowing the pharmaceutical dream or keep you alive long enough for the hospital to keep their cut. All the while the insurance industry continues their side job as a puppet master.

Sadly our families have been usurped by love. Grandma talks to her pet more than her family. Man and wife have become a target for any group that can change the rubric for the marriage equation to suit their imagination. Schools usurp children and parents actually believe they rent their children for 7 hours a day. You send your child to school, but they receive students. The fact that they have a Mission Statement, goals, and objectives should raise the flag that they have a preconceived notion of who your child should be.

The disclaimer:
I don’t dislike, judge, or blame any of the groups mentioned or alluded to. Be you, do you! Just don’t come at me with some shit and expect me to thank you for the meal. There are facts about people, laws, and behaviors that can’t be excepted through sympathy. There are many situations, occurrences, and conditions that can be overcome with empathy; but even truth is a commodity in America today.

Crazy About You

The mental health dilemma is ingrained in our psychological make up out of survival. We cannot except other folks normal without reverting to some “self supporting” statement that assures us we’re safe, and maybe that’s why we’re not safe. We have empathy for the physically ill and contempt for the psychologically ill.

I’ve seen folks openly grieve on social media for a family member who suffered a heart attack. Praising God and thanking friends who’ve stepped up to help the family members. Hundreds of likes and comments lift up the family and friends in a beautiful display of community and friendship.

On the flip side we don’t see the devastating drama that unfolds with a psychological attack. These incidents remain hidden for posterity.

Our reactions are self preserving. We don’t know how to help so we read, or write, statements attacking the person. “God helps those who helped themselves.”, or “He or she has to snap out if it.” These statements are an example of folks frustrated with not having an answer. Not being able to say something or do something that will make things better. The crazy thing is that all you really can do to help in these situations is take the time to say and do things.

We have to really consider honestly relying on each other. We cannot depend on health care folks. Chances are that the person with psychological trauma or drama will end up compounding their problems with prescriptions that will overwhelm them and create further problems. Once we understand that “pills” don’t cure, they treat symptoms to give our minds and bodies time to heal we may have a starting point.

The therapist is safe. Contrary to popular conceptions the therapist listens, talks, and offers insights into strategies, like a friend should. He or she won’t “prescribe” a substance to heal. He or she will prescribe strategies for the individual and their support to better understand what they’re experiencing.

On the flip side we also have to be honest with the heart attack victim, or the diabetic who’s obese. The sentiments for these folks are beautiful, but misplaced. For most, (notice I didn’t say all) these are self inflicted dramas. Years of over eating, tobacco use, alcohol, or prescription medication or street drugs catch up to us after a bit. Lack of sleep is a big factor overlooked for prosperity.

So we treat mental health with isolation and physical health with sympathy. I didnt use the word empathy because it is a constructive emotion that requires honesty.

It’s hard for me to think I got so twisted I can’t tell my friend with lifestyle issues to wake up, nor tell my friend with emotional problems I’m there for them no matter. Is it as simple as I can send my lifestyle friend to get help I know I can’t provide. On the other hand I can’t fix my friend with psychological problems with an operation and floral filled room of recovery.

These problems take years to heal. Depression, anxiety, complex psychological disorders all take time and patience. This is diametrically opposed to the contemporary psyche. Instant gratification rules. So I’m supposed to treat my friend like a sports team mate or soldier on the battlefield. Just shake my head and recite some platitude as if they passed away.

We, as family or friends, are part of the individual problems associated with recovering from and dealing with psychological illnesses as we are with communicable diseases. We can’t just wash our hands and protect ourselves from psychological distresses so we keep our distance. We can don a protective mask and wash our hands when visiting our physically ill friend. We can put on sad eyes above the mask and look them in the eyes pretending some anomaly attacked them. Later we can hint or whisper about “putting the spoon down” or the years he or she spent over indulging some other substance.

Truth is that helping a friend or family member with a psychological illness requires years of personal interaction that is honest and thoughtful.

Empathy is harder than sympathy. One you have to hold someone’s hand, look them in the eyes, and say things so that they know you care. The other you can share the old “wink and nod” and ignore that they had a hand in their drama while they ignore the fact there is a reason you care that has little to do with them.

Lightning Strikes

Memories strike like lightning bolts full of anxiety leaving me frozen in time. You flash across my horizon in seconds I can’t see, but feel non the less. Each bolt rips a horizontal chasm in my reality as if within the streak of light is the other side of us.

Eyes dart inside my motionless body as the silence of something short of fear covers my thoughts like a blanket. Quietly I stare, like a noise or smell could change the trajectory of my life.

Is it hope or fear, or a wave of confusion. How did your memory become electric. Static and fluid chasing something short of dreams around my mind. You live within my hopes and fears now, like when you left.

You had till death do us part, I never had a divorce. Ill be married to you for ever. Together forever was your promise. You didn’t tell me it was your forever, without me, so now I stand here in the vacuum of us.

Memories aren’t dreams. Like panic isn’t fear. Together we created this sphere that spins within my soul, and now I awaken startled that anxiety is all I have left of us, but all storms pass and the memory of your smile still brightens my day.

So this is love and loss, memories and dreams, panic and fear. I struggle daily to not let this define us, and like a stormy day, the memory of your smile shines through to the other side of a new me.

I forgive you today, now that I understand you weren’t all that left. I understand you’re not coming back with the pieces of me you took. So now I fill those empty spaces with the pieces of you I kept, the good and the bad. But that’s life and loss, that’s us. A fragmented possibly of forever cut short by decades of if.

Seeing is Believing

I feel as though Jesus anointed my eyes
And the moment I saw it was all a lie

While seeing with my senses I could go along
Walk with confidence at being so strong

Today what I hear is not what I saw
A light far away from the world I recall

The things I’ve touched have faded to dust
My hands are stained with doubt and rust.

The smells I tasted no longer leave a smile
They’ve melded into one like food into bile.

I sleep according to night, an old familiar place
Dreaming of darkness and the wide open space

I’m not quite sure if its a loss or a gain
But my eyes have been opened to the curse of again

Secret Place!!!

I hide my ideas
in little secret corners
Afraid of my tongue
And the havoc it craves

A thought is harmless
Kept in my mind
Away from the compromise
That feelings belie

Understanding is mine
Void of you and them
And the compromises
You demand with your opinions

Within I don’t care about if
And but is an excuse
Stretching truth towards a lie
With exceptions and inadequacies

But I’ll smile and agree to disagree
Walking away scratching my head
At the ignorance I’m free to ignore
While you walk away with regret

You aren’t free to think outside
Like playing in school clothes
You have to change your mind
Before you go out and play with friends

You wouldn’t want to get your thoughts dirty….