I see it playing with their hair and laughter keeping time with the gentle breeze. I’m in awe they don’t feel the wind or hear the laughter, they just live. Why must I feel every gust.
Leaves cyclone around them, yet still they dance and sing to the whistles of air unnoticed. The earth is spinning its seasons on gales and thermal moments, and the world spins on around me. I seek shelter from something That goes unnoticed.
I gave into the illusion and embraced the sweeping motion of the unseen. I focus on the scent ignorant of the trap or where it came. I no longer acknowledge the world around me or the forces it succumbs. I’m absorbed by the feelings it creates.
I go through pains to justify this existence. My nightmares turned to excuses many seasons ago. Now my nightmare is the wind will have colors everyone will see. My hair no longer blows, dust swirls around my feet leaving debris scattered where my life once lived, and the pain and wind dance around my desires like vines within a fence.
It’s here I’m stuck, intertwined, unable to move. I can only observe life within the links that have bound me. The wind and pain are reminders of the twisted nature of a lie.
You see, the fence, the wind , the pain are all props for the landscape of desire. The elements of a justification for choking my own existence. The links that strangle my ability to move forward. Now I tell myself as many lies as I do everyone else.
There is a me that is free of needs. Within me it’s the weaker self , but she’s resilient. For every lie she tells, there’s a truth that’s sad.