Tag Archives: mental health

Making sense

I can touch with my spirit. My spiritual hand wisps across consciousness like smoke from a fire.

My minds eye stares through the physical realm as you begin to evanesce and intentions older than time reveal the aurora within.

I hear the tears of history raining down on barren fields crying out for an ocean of love within the peace of a raindrop flooding humanity.

I’ve tasted your world and it’s plastic attempts at recreating nature. It’s just texture to chew on while the mind reflects on the succulent joy of flesh and bone, bark and sap, mixed with blood and air to replenish the earth.

My sense of smell warns me the path of men is no place for a man and within mankind there is ignorance. It’s the man, not men, who stand alone with the wind in their face who stoically avoid the fetid intentions of the pack gone rogue.

I think, therefore I am is an eternal beacon to remind us to make sense, use sense, and be sense within a world gone mad. Ancient winds remind us we can touch without hands, see without eyes , and taste without our mouth. We can hear the world without ears and smell death without flared nostrils. The world is within us, all we have to make sense to feel it.

Universal

Incantations vibrate across space
And time ripples with intent
Through open minds

Smoke rises
From ashes of hope
Lifting our spirits high above reality

Auroras sway to a rhythmic beat
Illuminating the mysterious
Colors of emotion

Seasons revolve
Around the light of day
Highlighting the need for tomorrow

It’s hope that shines within our soul
Warming our heart to our mind
With balance

We’re connected
Within this space that separates
Our flesh from our shared humanity.

We can’t see or touch this spirit
With our consciousness
In the way

We feel the world
With our intent to connect within
And be part of the worlds emotion

What we say and do means little
If what we feel is disconnected
From our heart

The universe
Is within us and constant
Our soul guides our spirits home

So I become we and the true nature
Of us is realized in quiet moments
Alone in the dark

Addict

Tomorrow, yesterday, anytime but now
I’ve other things that must be considered
And you, you’re the rock I roll around

I’ve considered our fate and mourned
You’ve become part of my composition
Intertwined in my desire to consume.

You deny me while obsessing with my touch
You’ll lie for me, even cry for me tears of dust
I don’t mind because a minute doesn’t pass with the thought of me

I’m no longer a mistress or arm candy
I hold your passion like our lungs hold air
You breathe my essence with every twitch of nerve.

I’ll be with you forever like the death of a loved one
You’ll tense at moments without me streaming through your veins
Deny me if you want, I’ll be in the mirror and your dreams.

I am the addiction
And you are the addict
And so we part ways reluctantly

Voices

Entangled in an audible nightmare
Where my mind can’t see
Why my brain just stares.

Take my life, my limbs even
But leave my mind to me
And the sanity I’ve Been given.

Firm ground slithers
From under my thoughts
As the air withers.

And suddenly the noise is white
While trees smile and faces grow
Into a darkness void of night.

Island

Now, more than ever, you must be an island. The wind and waves are foul. The warmth is a false blanket for shivering in the rain. Storms come and go, and even though the sun will shine again, it will be on debris.

I listen to the thunder and the crashing of waves intently. All I hear is noise. You can’t learn from wind and water fighting to be heard, all you ever get is wet and cold.

This is separate from chaos or anarchy. They have a purpose, a goal to attain. This storm lacks the elements to become nothing more than a nuisance. Nothing can become of noise without a coherent voice.

It’s not enough to stay indoors and create a drama from what unfolds behind sliding glass doors and vomit into the glow of a glass brain. You have to free your mind from that fish bowl.

Step away, find an anchor on high ground where the noise is distant. Find that place where you can see the storm for what it is. Stay above the fray and when you feel the spray of the crashing foam, move higher. Stay on firm ground.

As time passes and the storm subsides you can watch the different elements and how they recede or sweep away the debris. Once you know how the storm develops, devastates, and departs you’ll know better how to fortify your island.

From this point forward you won’t be fooled by soft breezes or passing clouds. You’ll see right through the surf into the churning froth underneath. And when the storm comes you’ll be prepared for the truth. It’s just weather. Blue skies and sunshine are alway glimmering above the tantrums of nature.

I am an island. I am is more than a statement. I am is a manifesto that I created the land I stand on and although forces beyond me may revolve around this earth, this place is mine and nothing can shake my resolve that truth is like the sun, ever present and undying even when it’s clouded by the nature of others.

Self Less

Self, a universal mind alert
Moving in shadows
Leaving dust swirling
Around darting eyes

I Am self, strong and proud
Withering behind ideals
Crushed by culture
And the desire to be

You hide your self
In pockets of emptiness
Stuffed with decayed dreams
Fidgeting copper coins with bony fingers

My self ruminates in the sunlight
For all to see and mock

I don’t have to be you
Or anyone else hiding behind flesh

And smiles that dimly light a facade
Don’t glow, they’re merely coals
Warmed with yesterday’s fire

But the eyes tell all, windows to the soul as a scrim for your self.
Open your heart to your mind
And learn what freedom reveals.

Don’t fear our selfs, they’re one in the same. Dissected by station and aspirations that tear at moral fabric
Like a fat man dressed in a small suit.

I’m above and beyond being a symbol of time, culture, or class.
I live now, for this glorious moment
Because everything else is a dream.

Shadow Vets

Are Viet Nam and Korean era vets still sitting in the dark unnoticed. We need the truth about vet suicide and hyperbole like “22 a day”! We need this truth from the Veterans Administration, not these groups, organizations, or charities looking to start a business off the backs of service members.

I’m proud to have served with the Viet Nam era soldier as my leaders. The work we did to uphold and improve training, leadership, and morale over our careers set the stage for the “100 Day War” and subsequent wars in the Middle East. The success of these wars is a direct reflection of the “Viet nam era” soldier who stayed the course and became leaders in the Army.

After researching veteran suicides and PTSD in today’s headlines it seemed as though we were leaving these “vets” behind again. At first glance you’d think there was a serious recruiting problem with the numbers being thrown around. In reality many of these numbers are misleading and when that happens someone usually gets left behind.

Any veteran committing suicide is one too many. What war they fought in, or even if they didn’t fight, makes no difference. The military looks after their own no matter. Having said that, the stats from VA indicate the the majority of suicides are from soldiers around 50 to 70. Within that age group are “Viet Nam era” soldiers.

Our collective conscious is shaped by stories, news feeds, and documentaries surrounding “Post 9/11 service members. The hype created by folks out there starting organizations to participate in the economy of post war enterprise has many viewing suicide as an Iraq/Afghanistan war issue. As I noted earlier, it doesn’t matter where a service member served or with whom the served, they all deserve recognition and support. My fear is the Viet Nam and Korean War era soldiers are still out there feeling unwelcome in the narrative of post war mental health issues.

There are many voices out there discrediting the Veterans Administration Health Agencies. Their campaign is an attempt to get in on the post war health boon. Ill caution/solicit those service members that retired in the 90’s to remind other service members how privatizing our healthcare with Tri Care left us paying for the free health care we were promised in the 70’s.

Veterans have pride and don’t take hand outs well. We were trained to adapt and overcome. As Veterans we need to support our young service members by enlightening them, while not forgetting those that trained us and the struggles they live with.

The Viet Nam and Korean era soldier were largely ignored as veterans, and in some cases as soldiers performing their duties. I hope with the popularity of war today, the last of the WW11 soldiers, and the “special units” out there promoting themselves as “elite” we aren’t leaving many service members behind. The Korean and Viet Nam war veterans are largely left out of the suicide/PTSD conversation and seem to be left behind. Awareness is a 21st century buzzword, and those that know these service members know that they are a proud bunch who will “make do” before they bother other folks with their problems. They’ll take their problems silently to their graves and be proud of it, to our great shame.