Autonomy

I think of the hope I take for granted. Like eating a bowl of soup never realizing the spoon. We’re selfish creatures absorbed with gratification on some level. Transcendence seems a peaceful view.

I’ve lived today ignoring tomorrow; but what if it wasn’t there? If I woke up suspended above now forever longing to go outside myself. If me was another person I could only observe and breath was all I could feel.

I took a breath and felt each moment like pieces of a second. Is there enough time to live in this manner, or would a day be eternity. Maybe this is what is meant by “life must go on”. Maybe part of life is meant to be autonomous.

I walked to through the yard never thinking of my feet. My legs propelled my dreams of what could be next, but I never knew, I just ran. I would have tripped had I thought about all I was taking for granted, or even worse, stopped running altogether.

I speak at times my brain ignores my mind. A thought and an idea are really part of something larger than life. This idea makes words as useless as an echo. Thinking about my thoughts creates confusion, like a dog chasing its tail I’d go around. So I stop and start over.

I’m alive and don’t know it most of my life. Is this the starting point of a day. Opening my eyes to the fact I’ve been given another chance. Then taking a breath long and slow to make sure. Then I could think about how fortunate I am and stretch my body to acknowledgement that together we can go further. Then I could start my day.

Astray

Im divided by time
Behind cognizant realms
From before or after spaces

I can’t express the difference
Of what I know to be true
Or what I believe to be here

It becomes an enigma
Looming ahead of reality
As an indescribable inevitability

The connection is separate
And never realized
As events unfold in spaces closed

I know it’s coming, but not what it is
I feel is knowledge not yet realized
Ahead of actions not yet performed

Perception, deja vu, or premonition
Either way it’s never real
Till your taking your last breath

So dream on in peace
And fear reality for what it is
As your fantasies lead you astray

Remembering Me

Look in the mirror
close you’re eyes
Let the visions stir
And melt the disguise

Remember who you are
Not who you see
Let go of the scars
And what you could be

Your reflection will fade
In memory of you
Fears you will bade
As life becomes true

It’s crowded inside
But realities run deep
With no space to hide
Or lies to keep

So open you’re mind
And close your eyes
And soon you will find
The reflections surprise

Cut Bait!!!

Hideous gashes hide within manicured smiles.
Scars unseen traveling roads and miles.

She wears her hair down and smile up for posterity.
Looking the part to hide the wounds of vanity.

You’ll never know cause she’ll never tell
She silences the screams to hide her living hell.

So face value is not worth the make up it will disguise
Cause underneath the laughter is the pain of being wise

It happened by degrees over many years
The silence of anguish hiding behind fears.

Who am I that I can’t see
The pain of others
Who smile for me

Give me your tears
To cleanse my heart
Ill give you my soul
And never depart

It’s love and time that heals the scars
That only i feel behind mirrored bars

You don’t know me, and really never cared.
You were in it for the fame until you got scared.

You compared my darkness to the clouds in your life.
Your struggles were plastic and so was your strife.

I made you feel better that you stood around.
While others moved on standing their ground.

The mirror is a trick behind my reflection
I stand in white walls void of reflection.

You can no longer touch me with word or feelings
Your memory is faded and lost in the
Healing.

So farewell my friends who really never were
I’ve found a new life I don’t have to endure.

You can keep that person you loved so much
I no longer need her or you to be such.

Logical Intrusion

Usually folks put some kind of sympathetic disclaimer in the beginning of their conversation when they talk about “touchy issues”, well I’m not. If you wanna be a man, or woman, or both learn to suck it up and realize you ain’t perfect bitch , bastard, whatever!!!

The argument about homosexuality is taken out of context on many levels. Christians and conservatives make it about the “war on marriage”. Supposed “left wing liberals” take the issue out of the scientific realm using sympathetic social cliches like the Russians use plutonium. All this confusion takes away from the truth.

Thinking empirically, as a species of humans Gay couldn’t work for obvious reasons. So “Gay” for the sake of brevity, is not a species.

Gay cannot be a gender for the same reason it can’t be a species; gay cannot procreate and therefor would not reproduce biologically. Wether they have a vagina or a penis they physically fall into the category of one or the other. If they have both they’re an anomaly, not a gender.

Gay does not fit into the race chart because the characteristics are not specific. Caucasoid, negroid, etc all share DNA that makes them similar in origin. Gay can be found within each of the race families.

Gay is not a nationality for obvious reasons. It’s not a sustainable way of life to reproduce and lacks the power to exert its will over other forms of society, I think!

As a culture Gay has grown to become one of the stronger fringes of society. Piggybacking and eventually usurping the woman’s right and colored civil rights movement have put Gay at the forefront of civil rights.

Gay is not a medical condition. Their are no medical differences between Homosexual or heterosexual folks. There are no conditions or disorders or illnesses specifically related to being Gay, other than the obvious relating from the act of risky sexual behaviors.

Here we are again though; to say Gay is a medical condition is viewed as an attack. Mainly due to the logic that. Medical conditions have a cure. That doesn’t go well!!!

As of late there are medical advances to perpetuate Gay as a normal experience, however; there are no vaccines or surgeries to complete the Gay experience as a transition to reproduce. The fact that folks are pursuing these options is a statement against the argument that if used, brings scorn.

This brings us to a really sensitive point. Gay as a psychological anomaly. It’s the only explanation scientifically that makes sense. It is not viewed as empathetic to say we should except folks as they are, as we do with other psychological anomalies. Gay folks won’t stand for that. They believe that a man or woman who wants to be Gay should be accepted without consideration to wether or not it’s normal, meaning statistically within the curve as normal human behavior. Accepting Gay as a psychological anomaly within the human spectrum is not a popular statement, no matter how empathetic you are.

I’ve written this for myself as a human, a Christian, and a citizen. One day my folks will have a Gay person in our family. I want them to know I accept their decision to be whatever they want to be. I don’t want to them to think ill pacify them with ignorance to obvious facts associated with human behavior, but ill love them just like the other humans I know struggling to live and define themselves in the world we live.

Christians are the hypocrites in the issue. Christ went where he was needed and we all know the traps of judgement. Politicians are next in line. They use the whole issue to get votes. One side captures the Gay population and its sympathizers while the other grabs up the hypocrites who oppose the lifestyle. Both sides could be put in one basket really!!!

I don’t hate anything, but ignorance and deceit. I don’t like being told half truths and being expected to believe them just because of some agenda laced with emotion. Show me something about the scientific reality of the biological basis of Gay and I’ll certainly embrace the truth. Until then ill just continue to embrace everyone for who they are and how they choose to live. That’s the human thing to do!!!