Monthly Archives: May 2017

Giving Back

I hesitate, my instincts too far beyond my surroundings

Alert, in tune with my heartbeat and the earths warnings

Now I must stop and seek cover from what I fear

Not cowering, not hiding, but living on the edge of finality it’s clear

Trust is the luxury of believers, I’m not a believer anymore, I’m here

Somewhere between safe and sound, I can no longer wander

It serves me well to stay in the shadows, alert and alive

I don’t need the lie anymore. I know under that beautiful garden there’s violence and decay, things we know, but don’t speak of

Don’t sell me assurances you can’t provide, I’m safe alone

I’m tired of all these people I have to be just to make your world complete

It’s been so long you don’t know which one is me, because you fell, fell into the trap and got ensnared in the one that you could never be for more than a moment

I was hear all along watching you melt under the light of an abstract dream. It was warm for a moment, but only the sun can bring true light, true warmth. The others just illuminated what they wish you to see, what they want you to be

Now your not human, not a person, but a part of something so much bigger than you that you can’t see it’s nothing, you’re nothing. You’ve been put to sleep in someone else’s dream.

Not I. I am wild, but free. I feel the heat of the day and shiver in darkness under the moons glow dreaming of sunrises.

What good is a sunset anyway. The end of a day shouldn’t be honored, it should be remembered. Where did we learn to worship the end of anything, it’s beginnings that have hope. All we have in sunsets are reflections and regrets

So I’ll keep your smile and give you back your watch. I’ll keep the sound of your voice, but give you back your words. You’ll need your hands, so I’ll leave with your touch gently caressing my heart. Everything else belonged to the world anyway.

American Spirit

I was looking through my social media early one morning and was reminded how special the American spirit is to the world. This is a weekend for reflection to many, and as I reflect, I’m reminded how this spirit survives despite America’s government. The separation is clear.

I see the disconnect in the millions of heartfelt messages from folks about our service members who sacrificed all. Many of these messages are from folks who don’t know the pain of this loss personally, but empathize with those that do. We remember the WW11 widow who went on to make a new life with her scrapbook of memories of a love only dreamt, because no one gets left behind.

I read the anecdotes from a friend in Honduras sad about leaving friends behind to return home. I see photo’s of smiling men laboring to improve learning and living conditions for folks thousands of miles away. I feel the American spirit in their photos.

I see young soldiers with backpacks full of miniature flags walking rows of white headstones placing each one with the care of a loved one. I imagine in his mind the glory he dreamt of how each patriot found his home there.

I read about young folks just starting their journey in life upon graduating from 15 years of security and learning. I’ve watched them over the years clean houses and yards for older folks less fortunate. I’ve watched them build structures to lighten the burden for those less physically fortunate. I see the American spirit.

I see photos of babies. Some in hospitals and some taking the first step in a family video. As I read the comments I feel the pain and joy of folks distant or near as the empathize or celebrate with the parents joy or sorrow.

I’ve read the stories of Europe being attacked and the heartfelt comments from Americans who desperately want to ease the pain of someone they can’t even imagine, or might not have even liked. I see the cover photos superimposed with foreign flags in solidarity with folks they will never know.

I see my neighbors cutting each other’s grass. I see the person at the cash register receive change from the cashier because they were a few cents short. I see the folks on the side of the road laughing and joking as they change a flat tire. I read on yard sake sites of mothers giving away baby clothes that no longer fit to anyone who might need them. Everywhere I look I see the American spirit.

There are folks outside and within our country that would have you believe being American is something evil. They’ll point to political figures. They’ll try and convince you that lies and deceit are the coin of our realm. Hell, they’ll even try to convince you we’re responsible for the Christian crusades if you listen long enough. Some of these accusation are truths and half truths of our government, but they aren’t part of the American spirit.

Take time to really reflect this weekend, folks died for this holiday. They died for you before your parents were born. They died before they had children or families of their own. Don’t feel bad about barbecuing, or swimming, or having too many beers with your friends. This was part of why they put theirselves in harms way.

But…. Remember that when the weekend is over they would expect that you would share some old clothes with someone less fortunate. They would expect that you would help out the neighbor who can’t cut their grass. They would expect you support or travel somewhere far away to help out folks in need. They would expect you share a kind word with someone, on line or face to face with a hug.

Trust me when I tell you they knew about the disconnect with the government. They lived and died with it. They worked within it with hopes to change it. They could spot an idiot a mile away. They also understood we aren’t our government, hence; “We the people in order to form a more perfect union….. Remember all the way back to that revolutionary soldier who passed on for you to grill with a machine he could never imagine.

Remember Freedom and goodwill are alive today for your to carry forward. It’s a legacy left to us. I’m encouraged that every second of every day their sacrifices are living and breathing in our efforts to be a better neighbor around the world.

Race and America, a political hustle

I’m watching Charles Barkley’s series “Race in America” and it’s frustrating to hear folks using “civil rights era” language and philosophies to attempt to define today’s divisions among Americans.

Folks acknowledge we are divided more today than ever. They say “race” is the problem in America, but what they mean is culture. This is the latent effect of multiculturalism. We further divided our nation by a hyphenated identity that has exponentially confused folks to the truth of division.

Segregation was the norm in America for decades. We had a “melting pot” philosophy, but the multicultural philosophy was a natural ethnic division. It’s intent may or may not have been intentional, but it had to be obvious that some folks from each division would use these differences to separate themselves.

Now there are divisions that go beyond race. We have gender, class, vocation, age, the list is endless. So now within each culture we have micro cultures and animosities transcend race based on other characteristics. It was inevitable that eventually we would start to use our differences for power. Political, economic, or social power over wealth and resources.

We are human. We are Americans. We are all unique and have characteristics to celebrate and overcome. Whether we are Christians or Muslims, legal or illegal citizens, dark or white we all are human. It’s the politics in America that have largely been responsible for our divisions, not our characteristics. It’s left and right politics that have taken away our shared humanity in order to control groups of voters in the pursuit of power. The moderate voice of reason has been silenced politically and silenced by political zealots.

Resources are finite as population grows. These divisions will mean more than heritage or genealogy one day if we don’t understand them today in context with how society has evolved in America. Government has prospered while society has suffered. European progressivism and their relationship with the civil rights movement are nostalgic for recognition that doesn’t serve America well today. The people and problems are not the same.

We shouldn’t have to wait for these Americans, of all races” to get their civil rights badge and die before we can move forward. Their efforts were valiant and established a base for America to move forward socially, but that’s over, and the reason we have museums. We have to move forward and there are folks off all races doing that, on their own.

This issue of race, is masking the covert use of culture in America and how it’s exploited culturally. Weather it’s a white politician pulling out a photo of themselves marching or sharing tacos, or a black politician waving an NRA membership card talking about “inner city violence” we can’t be fooled. These folks are using the beauty of our differences to divide us for their own political gain. I can’t list all the ways this is done for sake of brevity, but think of gender, employment, income, region, etc… Divide and conquer, it’s that simple.

We have to take control of our politics in order to regain control of our government. Then, and only then can we start to change the narrative of our social divisions. This, in my opinion, is the biggest issue facing America. Bigger than terrorism, health care, or guns.

Dust

Dust dances through the attic within shards of light slowly passing time along well worn planks. It’s magic they seek in the eyes of the beholder. They have no fairies or ghosts without the fertile or feeble minds staring in wonder.

Creeks and whistles play staccato games with swaying trees just beyond the pain. But this is a space of remembrance. A place where memories are free to roam through cob webs and yellowed paper.

Slowly I run my hand along wooden chests and metal straps. My mind travels along colorless photos of perfectly groomed alabaster faces wearing oversized suits and cinched dresses. I wonder how long it took these memories to arrive in my hands, in my mind, are they even mine.

I smell the struggle to open these boxes of yesterday. Places and moments are separate in the still morning light. Every box opens with a sigh and closes with a question. Is this real, was that then, or is this some cruel reminder of how distorted time really is. Minutes and hours are easy. Days and nights are bearable because tomorrow still exists. Past this yellow fades white, laughter sounds distant, and feeling is a remembrance or dream.

But I have what’s left of my memories in a box, that’s fortunate. I have captured time, or has it captured me, sometimes I wonder. What my hands can’t grasp my mind helps along. As the dust dances on in the light of a new day I’ll become the memory. A blessing and the curse of a life long lived.

Multicultural march to segregation on steroids

Multiculturalism as an extension of segregation, culture being the operative word. Folks are still confused today. Most folks mistake cultural indifference for racism. The “hood folks” being the major representation of the black (African American) race. This is how multiculturalism fooled everyone, it further segregated the nation exponentially.

Unfortunately many Americans were able to see the characters they were assigned, hence micro culture. Now the divisions are an endless drama of political and social discord that generates billions of dollars in everything from clothes and food to media and education. There is no incentive to stop dividing.

From contrasting addicts to cancer patients, homeless vets against refugees, even pitting folks who are employed against folks on government assistance the great divide is spreading. This is not accidental. This is our political structure failing and feeding on itself.

These divisions are tactics. The obvious nature of their goal is to create political and cultural anarchy, and they’ve succeeded with the less informed populace to the point folks will believe anything just to be part of something.

No one stands for our country. They feel they have to be on a side. True leadership stands in the gap and brings the realistic individuals from both sides together. This person or people have yet to surface.

The liberal left is heavily influenced by European progressives. They’ve invaded our government structure through positions within the government or with businesses contracted by the government. The European progressives have taken over the American media and are supported through a heavily influenced academia. It is imperative we take a pre Cold War approach to purging our political, educational, and entertainment industries.

The far right is heavily influenced by the “Über capitalist” operating within our economy to sway the balance of capitalism and democracy. They’re supported by the evangelical charismatic factions of our religious communities. The balance of religion and government is challenged by these charismatic figures who’s wealth has surpassed their faith.

Meanwhile, in the middle, many Americans look around in wonder at what’s happening to our country. This is dangerous because our working class folks are the ones funding this lunacy with their taxes. Middle class America is under siege and they won’t get fed up because they believe that the lunatics will go away like they have in the past. That doesn’t look like the case today.

The average guy/gal sits around worried about domestic goals. Vacation, new house or vehicle, and job security. They aren’t in touch with transgender soldiers or ghosts replacing skeletons in political closets. They may watch some satire and laugh or joke, but they’re busy working to make their situations and the situations in their communities better. If we threaten that security we’ll find a much more dangerous America.

The previous administration divided us to a point we haven’t seen since the civil war. We haven’t heard as much about globalization since they’ve been replaced, the Progressive Europeans have been quite within the current climate, but they’re working in the fringe with a handful of folks disgruntled about the election. It will take time for a course correction and if we don’t get 8 years without them it’s gonna get worse.

I’m not sure how much of what’s been done can be corrected, especially within 4 years. We have a lot of work to re establish our positions with our allies and our enemies. We are not positioned globally to be a leader.

No one can predict how this will unfold. Our blogs and other social media posts don’t matter much. Some write to enlighten, some out of confusion, and some to be right. At best we can give “our 2 cents” and hope collectively we can let these folks know we see through their deceits and will comment on them no matter for the sake of truth and the American way of standing up to attempts to define our life or the lives our our friends.

Of Nature and Desire

Concentrically narrowing foliage chokes my optimism with caution. Thorns and petals stalk my path to a less humid endeavors. But this is how truth hides, just beyond the greenery withering in all of us.

The canopy has levels that reveal light one shard at a time, until your above the tangle of vines where there is no forest floor. All you see is beauty framed by heaven as fresh air wisps away the rot decaying below.

If only I could fly away to stone. An edifice imagined. Stolid and thoughtful granite curves that time hides. Water cascades over the riffs she’s etched in my strength. Sun glistens on the darkness creating black rainbows in the mist, and lichen warms the crevices of my souls.

The beauty of this carnage we call nature is odd, like love it takes great pains and grows with time, only to be passed on to the budding life below. The tallest trees see it while taking warmth from above, mocking us as their roots draw from our strength. Their saplings without us withering in the clutches of vines, but it’s beauty to the naive.

Life is a beautiful struggle between our nature and our ideals, between our needs and desires. Inside us the biological and psychological battles constantly feed on us like the worms that till our soul, but all we see are faces as we paint our landscape with beauty.

American People

Does feminism fail due to the nurturing nature of the female. We all have heard cliches. Maternal instinct, which of late it seems just as many men have. Woman are more compassionate, I would argue sympathetic, a loathsome emotional response. Some folks would argue that woman are more in touch with their emotions. Feminist would be violently opposed to these cliches because they’re just people.

The confusing thing to me is that the feminist movement has rode these waves of momentum then got swept up in another groups struggle. The 60’s and 70’s they burnt bras when it meant something. Then they were sucked into the civil rights compactor and spit out for a seat in the back of the bus.

In the 80’s and 90’s they got so mixed up with the gay movement it was hard to tell who was a boy and who was a girl, if there are still genders. The glass ceiling was shattered by a few woman emotionally pretending to be male, but Elizabeth Dole disappeared, I assume back to the pineapple plantation.

Now we’re here again, more radical then ever. Female Senators, movie producers, star athletes; woman are attaining whatever their hearts or minds desire. We have astronauts, infantry woman in the Army, even a slew of woman fighter pilots. We passed on the female president this cycle because it was the wrong woman at the right time.

Now the feminist women are sounding off about rape culture. They will stop at nothing until any characteristic considered male is eliminated from the human emotional lexicon. If a boy on a campus sees a girl dressed nice with a strong feminine presence and tells his buddy he’d like to sleep with her, he’s a criminal. Woman have conquered every endeavor so now they have to eliminate any characteristic that’s considered masculine.

This phase will meld into some other groups cause soon and the feminist silence will be heard in the black lives matter group, or the gender of the day folks, or the emerging survival of……, folks. This falls into the old “fool me once” euphemism. The progressive movement has been using woman as a tool of advancement for decades and putting them back in the tool box when their intermediate goals were achieved.

The truth is that we did not transition well from the phase of woman as homemakers to woman as working partners. These folks saw that and exploited it as a disrespect to woman. It was never about disrespect, it was about confusion. The whole child care industry was developed out of this confusion. Out of this confusion the role of parents and the role of men and woman got confused, and for some still is.

This shit about rape culture today is the new exploitation. There are men, (and woman) out there that view others as objects. Men that take pleasure out of victimizing or demoralizing woman for their own esteem. Most American Men abhor this behavior and that’s the single reason it happens in silence. Because any Red Blooded American Male who saw this type of behavior in a friend would put it in check. We respect woman, we’re not the enemy.

So it seemed for this round of feminist fame we’ll have to throw it back at ya. We (men and boys) have a right to be masculine and wear muscle shirts with tight jeans without being stared at for our reproductive prowess just as much as you have a right to wear short skirts and blouses without being judged for your birthing hips. We are meant to be mutually respectful of each other and no movement, religion, or government should interfere with that.

Just because someone isn’t respected for being gay doesn’t mean masculinity is evil. Just because a woman didn’t get elected president doesn’t mean misogyny is the American norm. Just because single mothers struggle doesn’t mean nuclear families are threatening. The divisions created are endless and fabricated illusions.

Most Americans look at each other as people. Plain and simple. Don’t be fooled by idiots with a cause. Feminism and American are synonymous, and American woman are people, like American men. Always struggling for the underdog. Reaching all corners of the earth for human rights. To say otherwise is a lie and disrespecting the American character.

Don’t worry though, feminism and Americanism will remain synonymous no matter who tries to divide us. We’ll have a woman president one day also. When we do, watch out because the American woman has a history of standing up for the downtrodden. From the slaves, to the oppressed, to the displaced she has been keeping America strong in its efforts to be the shining city on the hill, and her men stand behind her ready to fight right alongside her if you get in her way.

Healthcare Hustle

Healthcare, I am so sick and tired of hearing about healthcare problems. Folks know the problem. The cost of healthcare is a self inflicted wound. It’s ridiculous that we have to hear these idiots postulate about the problems. It’s like watching a friend struggling to build a model airplane and complain about the latest FAA rules.

Conditions are the environment in which an organism lives that effect the way it functions. It can be a factor or a source of a disease or injury, but can’t be a disease or injury. We spend billions of dollars a year on conditions in America. Sort of like increasing the octane in your gas to fix your cars computer.

Everything from ADHD to Fibromyalgia are costing the healthcare industry billions. The arthritis industry is developing new “conditions” to match medications as we speak. Arthritis is an ancient disease we all will experience at one level or another over time. Human bones weaken with age putting additional stress on it’s surrounding structures. The “conditions” that slow this process down or speed it up aren’t diseases.

This is the crux of the point. Conditions aren’t diseases. Conditions are the environment that effect an organism maintaining homeostasis. Conditions can be manipulated to improve or degrade this process. The paradigm in America is to ignore the conditions that set up a problem and medicate those same conditions ignoring the absence of a medical disease.

This is where psychology comes in. This is a bad word to many. Folks don’t distinguish between counseling, psychology, and psychiatry. They just conjure negative images of “crazy”! These practices are the answer to many of these biopsychosocial conditions. Counseling and therapy deal directly with the conditions that negatively effect a person to the point they’re being effected physically.

Addressing conditions or syndromes with medication as the first line of defense is unethical. Counseling, diet, and fitness are critical to dealing with health issues. Medication does not heal, it is designed to help a patient deal with the symptoms (conditions) of a disease to improve the conditions of which that person lives until the disease has been cured, or managed in some cases.

We need healthcare reform. Healthcare reform is a threat to the economy. This is why we won’t get healthcare. Pain clinics were the symptom we missed, and now the problem has exponentially grown socially, but is a windfall economically. I’ll leave it to you to elaborate on other medical conditions and how they benefit the economy.

I don’t see a paradigm shift in the philosophies of medicine and economics. So my part, to make me feel good, is to talk to my folks and hopefully keep them safe from the medical establishment. The worst thing to happen would be a loved one born in the hospital, frequently visiting the doctor throughout their life for medicine, and returning to the hospital to die. That’s not a life, it’s an investment

Randomness

My mind lazily stares at the reflection of the door in the rainwater collecting on the sidewalk. I struggle with which door to open, which door to walk through for the rest of my life. Both have become surreal and the glimmer of hope in my reflection is as real as the sadness behind the pains encased in reality.

In the end choice was an illusion, a weigh station to a truth I already knew. Home is an illusion like the mind. It doesn’t have matter like a house or brain, of which both will eventually collapse. And so it is, choice, the stairway to somewhere, always leads me on.

So is life an illusion brought to life in the reflection of inconsequential notions of reality. Are hope, faith, and prayer the home of truth, reality, and the work that brings shining moments. We aren’t meant to know, only care enough to try.

Does it all matter, probably not, but if you don’t care, it’s not worth living. The reflection means no more than the reality and that’s not a crossroad, it’s a void. A place where nothing has color or tears to dry. A place where death lives and life passes on.

Everything has meaning, has worth if we care. Reality pushed the boundary of sanity at times. So hold onto your reflections with the understanding that life does matter, as do the illusions that give it measure. When this gets twisted you’re no longer real.